I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
