i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
