She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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