we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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