Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
