All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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