I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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