Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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