I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
