Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
