That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
