That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
