..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
