I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
