It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
