Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I color on your dick again?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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