watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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