My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
