it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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