I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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