Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My penis needs a shock collar
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
