apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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