i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
