i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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