you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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