i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize