Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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