I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
