i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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