I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
