I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Randomize
