everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
