Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
