my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
