im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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