I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
