ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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