the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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