You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
