Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
