how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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