sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
