i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
