You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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