Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
