so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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