I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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