after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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