I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
