Sponge bath it is.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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