I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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