I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How's work?
Spinning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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