just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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