so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
