I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
