If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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