Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
