didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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