question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
