For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
