I wannas sexs uuuuu
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize