There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
