I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
