I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
