What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
tell me about the eggs
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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